pink nostalgia

how to: chicken parm hoagies

This is one of our current why-did-you-let-me-eat-all-of-that meals.  : )

It's really easy and fast, and it's a perfect accompaniment to watching Friday Night Lights.

The bread: Slice a loaf of Italian bread in half, put it on a cookie sheet with the cut side open, and pop it in the oven at 350 for a few minutes until it's lightly toasted.  Now, this step is critical and I'm not even joking because you know I don't joke about food.  Smash a garlic clove with the side of a large knife.  As soon as you take the bread out of the oven, rub the toasted sides with the garlic.  Pieces of the garlic will flake off.  That's okay, just remove any big pieces so you don't bite into any chunks.  Your fingers will smell like garlic after this.  If you're not cool with that, you can rub them on a stainless steel mixing bowl.  Your fingers will smell like stainless steel after this.

The sauce: Dump a jar of your favorite marinara in a small pot on the stove; heat on low.  You'll need bowls (like regular-sized cereal bowls, not wimpy salsa bowls) for dipping.  If all you have are wimpy salsa bowls, then serve the hoagies with a spoon.

The chicken: Trim about 3/4 of a pound of chicken tenders.  At your option, pound them so that they're 1/2" thick.  Bread with seasoned breadcrumbs, and pan-fry in a skillet with olive oil on medium heat.*

The cheese: Cut the cheese.  That's for George.

The hoagie: The beauty of the assembly is that it really doesn't matter - it's all going to fall apart anyway.  : )  But I like it in this order from bottom to top: bread, sauce, chicken, sauce, cheese.  Finagle the sandwich shut, then put it back in the oven until the cheese melts.

And that's your sandwich!

Just kidding.  I cut it into 4-5 pieces, and we maybe have one piece left over between J and me.**

On this day, I ate one and a half pieces, told J, "I can't do it," he finished his two pieces and my half piece, told me, "Why did you let me do that?"

If you do have leftovers, wrap them in foil and stick them in the fridge.  To heat them back up, put them in a 350 degree oven (still in the foil) until it's heated through, about 8 minutes.  I know it's not as quick and easy as the microwave, but just trust me.  You're saving yourself from chewy bread and cold-in-the-middle chicken.

Enjoy!

 

*Edited to add: The last time I made these, I double-stacked the chicken and cheese.  There was seriously moaning.

**One loaf + half a bag of curly fries will perfectly feed J + me + Ethen.

captured

I bought this sheet of paper...

... without a clue what I would use it for but knowing I would see something soon that I loved.  This was it.  I lifted this page from Ashley Horton.  The hearts with lots of white space is on my short list right now.

The scene from the photos is Alex's 9th birthday dinner + cake at our house with family.  Ethen was singing Happy Birthday and being very goofy towards Alex, and Alex was just giggling.  Giggling!  Ughh, I love it.

A big part of why I love to scrapbook is that while I'm reliving the memories from the photos, I'm creating memories from crafting and sharing.  The scene from the page is showing it to the boys.  I called the two youngest Wells boys into the pink room, and Jason followed.

I held the page behind my back and excitedly told them I had a scrap page to show them.  I got blank stares!  Out of three boys!  I know!

So I hopped from foot to foot as I do and said, "Are y'all excited??  I'm SO excited about this page!!"

So J replies, "Yeah!  We're excited!"  And all three of them did jazz hands and hopped from foot to foot.  Except since Alex was sitting in my desk chair, he swiveled.  Ughh, I love it.

behind the photo: the ottoman

Here are the first five things that come to mind as I see this photo from this week.*

1. This scene is an iteration of a scene that happens a lot, and it warms my heart every time.  I love watching Jason read with Alex.

2. Here's the setup - the four of us were in the kitchen mapping out the night ("What are you fixing to do?"  "E needs to shower, Al needs to read...").  Then Alex came up with the game plan: "Angela cooks dinner, Ethen showers, and I read with Dad!  Then after dinner, we'll all watch Friday Night Lights!"  There are two things I love about his solution: 1. J encourages the boys to fix problems.  Fix problems is a motto at our house.  So for one of the boys to come up with the solution is cool.  It's working.  2. Alex used to put off reading as much as possible.  So for him to voluntarily put it in his plan as a top priority is pretty amazing.  It's working.

3. Alex is standing on a square ottoman with wooden legs.  It didn't even cross my mind that he must be standing on something (because he's not 5' 6" tall) until much later.

4. I made tangy chicken for dinner.  (As Kathleen would say, I could eat my way out of a bathtub of that sauce.)  The first time I made it for the boys, E said that he didn't really like the sauce.  So this time, I left the chicken out of the sauce for E's portion.  During the meal, I nodded to Ethen and pointed towards his chicken, which naturally meant, "How do you like the chicken without the sauce?  Is it alright?"  He nodded back to me, which naturally meant, "Good."  Fix problems.

5. Right before we sat down to dinner, I moved my favorite mason jar of flowers off of the table and onto the bar.  And that's when I discovered the ottoman under the bar.  Fortunately, it was more of a kick than a trip, and more fortunately, I did not drop the jar or smash it into the granite.  I hobbled back to the table and said, "I think I broke my piggy toe!  Somebody bless it!"  So Alex prayed, "Dear Lord, thank you for this great day.  Watch out for Angela's piggy toe, that it doesn't hurt anymore.  Uhh...Amen." 

*Author's note: I wrote this post last month.  : /

how to: sonic mojito

medium mint limeade/extra mint/easy ice/squeeze the lime/two shots white rum/stir/chips/salsa/back porch with someone who let's you laugh

the pancake breakfast revisited

The first time I tried to recreate my mom's pancake breakfast for the Wells boys was kind of a flop. 

We tried it again on Memorial Day.

Here's the end of the story first: it rocked.  Rocked.

Here's the beginning and middle of the story:

The first hurdle was the calendar.  There was a chance that the boys wouldn't be at our house for breakfast that holiday Monday and that this breakfast plan would have been postponed through another baseball season, but we arranged to pick up the boys on Sunday. 

The second hurdle is the timing.  We all agreed on 10:00ish so J and I could work out before breakfast and so Ethen could sleep in.  Alex always gets up early, so we gave him a snack and the promise of his favorite sausage.

The third hurdle was the food!  My mom serves up everything as it's hot off the irons, but that didn't work for us last time.  This time, I baked the bacon in the oven, sizzled the sausage on the griddle, and waffled between two waffle irons.  When a batch of waffles were done, they went on a cookie sheet in the warm oven.

We put all the food on the table, prayed, and passed plates.  We chatted, passed more plates, and cleaned the kitchen together.

Halfway through eating, I was smiling to myself.  J caught my eye, and gave me the I-know-you're-emotional-right-now-because-you're-so-proud smile.  I gave him the do-not-give-me-that-smile-right-now-so-you-can-push-my-tears-over-the-edge "Stop."  Then:

E: What's he doing?

me: He's smiling because he knows how much I'm enjoying this.

E: Yeah, this is really good.

me: Well, thank you, this IS good, but we weren't smiling about the food.  We're smiling because I've been wanting to do this for a while, have a big breakfast with us all at the table, where we're all smiling and laughing and telling stories without me running back and forth from the kitchen like last time.

E:  Oh.  [smiles]  Yeah, this is nice.

As Ethen was clearing his plate, a friend called him asking to hang out.  E replied, "Well, I can't go right this minute - my dad is still enjoying his breakfast."  : )

So that's how Wells do Pancake Breakfasts.  : )

the cargo mat conversation

Alex: Uhh, why did you just take a picture of that?

me: Well...it's kind of a "mom" thing.  [I pause, expecting him to lose interest and climb in the car.  But he's still looking at me, so I'll keep going...]  You know I bought this cargo mat [pointing] specifically for y'alls' sports stuff - for soccer balls and baseball bags and chairs...  [He's nodding and still looking at me intently.]  This is the first time we've used it.  It makes me happy.

Alex: Oh.  [half smile]  Okay.

one nonillion

A one with thirty zeros is one nonillion.  I Googled it.

So, Mother's Day this year marked about a year and a half that the Wells boys and I have lived together.

I went to church by myself, which is always an emotional rollercoaster for me.  So that's the baseline.  An emotional rollercoaster is where we're starting.  Then the pastor starts his welcome with this: "We want to acknowledge that while Mother's Day is a celebration for many, it's very difficult for some.  Some of you who desire to be a mother haven't been able to, be it through suffering miscarriages, infertility, or just life circumstances.  We want to acknowledge your grief and let you know that we love you, and we're here for you."

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

This was as I was looking through the church bulletin on summer camps for the boys, so...impeccable timing.

Of course there wouldn't be breakfast in bed or snuggles or a dedicated school function.  I mean, the boys weren't even at our house for Mother's Day.  But eternally hopeful...

It would be so amazing if I got a text, if I got a photo, if I got a card, if, if, if...

Alas, none of that happened.

So I had some tough love with myself - Angela, you're not a mother.  [Gulp.  Let's try a spoonful of sugar with that.]

You know the boys love you.  They're 13 and 9.  They're children.  And they're boys.  You can't expect them to reach out to you on their own.  None of the Wells boys are big on grand celebrations and fusses.  They're not trying to hurt your feelings.  The silence doesn't mean that they don't regard you.  They've just not been taught to be outgoing in that way.   

Then I kind of pushed it into a corner.

That night, my re-found friend Rita texted me, "Happy Mother's Day, Angela!  I hope you were celebrated!" and I got a touch emotional again.

New day.  Maybe next year will be a little better.

The next day, J picked up the boys to stay with us for the week.  The four of us hung out in the kitchen just visiting, everyone sitting on a different counter.  Alex hops down and runs to his room saying he has a surprise for me.

A handmade Mother's Day card.  For me.  And the hugest hug where I almost squeezed the life out of him.

So...best Mother's Day ever.

a perfect moment scrapped

Here is that perfect moment on a simple scrap page.  : ) 

I lifted it from Cath4K here!

This is the first page I've made where the photo is the whole page.  This one is close:

And you can tell (can you tell?) by looking at these two pages that the styles are very different.  I usually like a lot of detail that draws you in and invites you to sit for a minute with a plate of sopapilla cheesecake.  But J liked the way it looked without all the fuss, so I left it.  Just a picture and the story (and a little bit of glitter).

I haven't thought about this in months - when we were newly dating, J once said (wrote?), "Please do not stop creating perfect moments like this one."  Mmm.  : )

a perfect moment

Last Friday, I came home for lunch with Jason and the boys.  It was Spring Break, so everyone but me was off.

Alex ran into the kitchen to tell me about their trip to Academy: "I looked at bikes for you, but guess what.  They did not have pink.  They did have purple, but you should probably see it first."

Jason said, "Hey babe, when you're through with that, I have a perfect moment to show you."

Okay...?

He took my hand and walked me into the pink room.  We stood facing the windows; he rotated my hips to point me towards my desk chair.  He held up his hands like a movie director framing the scene.

"I was in here a few minutes ago, thinking about you and waiting for you to get home, and I noticed how perfect this all looked together - the new perfect floors, the light streaming in, the pink wall, your chair...  It's a perfect moment.  I thought it would make a great picture, a perfect moment."

"Did you take a picture?"

 

Sigh.

And then what happened next, oh man...

california

[last night after shopping]

J: So what'd you get?

me: a pair of shoes, a shirt for work, and a t-shirt.  It's kind of crazy.  

J: Fashion show, let's see it!

me: Okay, but, the t-shirt is a little out there for me.  I don't know what you'll think.  Do you want to see it now, or do you want to be surprised for when I wear it tomorrow?

J: Uhhh...no...I'll be surprised tomorrow.

[tomorrow]

J: Oh!  The shirt!  Call...for...Nia.

me: Babe.

J:  Call for Nia??  Who's Nia??

This is what I have to put up with for 32 years.  : ) 

mini album: flag 2014

Alex's reaction when I showed him his finished football mini album was different than Ethen's reaction.  Ethen didn't know I was making them, and even though he knew I had been taking pictures at his games, it probably didn't occur to him that I would do anything with them. 

But Alex pops into the pink room after I've been missing for 15 minutes, and he doesn't just look to see where I am.  He stands next to me, he picks up photos, he asks me how a crop-a-dile works, then I find scrap paper to let him set eyelets...  So he knew it was coming.  But he had the same quiet smile.  : )

Click on any of the photos to enlarge.

I had a little more fun putting Alex's album together because the pictures are so much better!  Being on the sidelines instead of in bleachers, I was much closer to eye level and had fewer obstructions.  And since they don't wear helmets in flag, I got Alex's expressions.  They're too much!

The end until I print basketball season!

mini album: 8th grade football

Once I started taking sports photos of the boys, it took me about...mmmm...three minutes to decide what to do with them: open-face 4x6 mini albums for each sport for each season + scrap pages of a few of my favorites.

I did a few things to consolidate the process so that I'm not perpetually five years behind (although I am already two basketball seasons behind).

1. Make the album a 4x6.  This way, I didn't have to crop in Photoshop, and it's a really easy and cheap size to print.  It also helps patterned paper go farther since a 4x6 template will go into a 12x12 sheet of paper six times.  (Math!)

2. Pull a small set of supplies.  I went through my patterned paper scraps (the ones that Y always tells me to throw away because I'll never use them - booooo0yahhhhh!) and pulled just a few pieces.  Then I picked a sticker set to match, a thicker set to match, and 3 or 4 washi tape rolls.  That's it, that was all I was allowed to use.

3. Use a small set of designs.  I stuck with banners, flags, and labels stapled or taped or both.  Over and over again. 

J might have gotten misty-eyed when I showed him.

Ethen might have been overwhelmed when I showed him.  He was quiet and smiley, he looked through every page, then he looked at me, nodded, and said, "That's really cool."  It was a moment.  Of course, then I ran and told Jason about the whole exchange.

I can envision a whole library of these minis, and it makes me really happy.  : )

See Alex's football album tomorrow...

how to: get a teenager to dance

In the living room/kitchen with the family:

- Let him play his own music (the clean versions, of course).  

- Glance, don't look, and smile.  But a small smile, like the kind of smile you give when Alex pronounces it "mininnilem."

- Ask what he has that he'd pick for you.  Ariana Grande.  And then turn it up.  UP.  And twirl.

- Get him to show you "that one new dance."  Move the coffee table if you need to.

 - Give his little brother a few head nods to invite him to join the party whenever he's ready.

- Whoop and holler when his dad busts out with the sprinkler, the cabbage patch kid, and the you'd-better-watch-this-hand.

- DON'T take pictures.  : )

When he thinks no one is watching:

- Show him a mirror.  ; )

When he knows everyone is watching:

Okay, he got a hit.  Cool.

What?! He's not stopping at second?!?!

Get down, baby, get down!!

TRIPLE!!!!!

- Wait for him to hit a TRIPLE during a baseball tournament in which his team will go on to win first place.

 

 

 

So, this breaks the first rule, but in my defense, he was dancing on a baseball field.  Pictures are fair game.  Ha, punny!!

jason the handyman

I need to tell you how ridiculous Jason is, but in order to do that, I need to give you some background.

On our first Labor Day together, I had really high hopes.  I thought we'd sleep in and spend the majority of the day lazing around in bed.  Maybe find a "Love It or List It" marathon, eat donuts, and never change out of our jams.

Instead, we got up early and painted the exterior of his house.  On Labor Day.  We finished the siding, then he hits me with, "Should we go ahead and do the porch?"  Sighhhh, okay.  We finish the porch and he says, "Should we paint the window trim while we're at it?"  Sighhhhhhhhhhh, okay.

[In his defense, it WAS better to get it all done at once.  Also, we WERE preparing that house for sale so he could buy us a new house.  : )]

But about half-way through (the siding, ha), he says, "Hey.  It's really amazing that we're already half-way done and haven't gotten in a fight.  I've never had that before."

Awwwww.  Let's paint the porch and trim!!

So, painting went really well. 

It went so well that we thought we'd tackle replacing an interior and an exterior door.

Three days later, Jason said to me, "Babe.  If I EVER tell you that I want to do some kind of renovation, home remodeling ANYTHING, slap me across the face."

[We did finally get the two doors hung.]

Fast-forward to the current story: installing wood floors for the house.

J: We could save a lot of money if I figured out how to install the floors...
me: Which side do you want it on?

AND

me: Do you think we should replace the carpet in the closet with wood?
J: We need to do something.  We could replace it with new carpet.
me: But then we have to have them come back out to measure, cut...
J: Well, I can replace the carpet.
me: I'm going to slap you.
J: What?  Why??
me: Home improvement!!
J: Well, I think I can handle a square of carpet!!!!
me: Are you sure?!?!?!

[We had the floors professionally installed, including our closet.  But J did successfully remove the entry-way tile and thinset, and we ripped up ALL of the old carpet.]

the birdcage progression

My favorite feature of our master bathroom is not the double sinks (although I might change my mind if we didn't have those) or the jacuzzi tub (which sounds much better than the practicalities of it).   It's the separate room for the toilet...because, you know...PRIVACY.

I've been wanting a little shelf to go over the toilet to hold the spare toilet paper roll.  Fortunately, neither one of us has been in that jam where we have to pass the new roll through the door.  Yet.  So last week, I went shopping for a shelf. 

Below is an outline of J's response to said shelf.

Phase One: The Hard "No"
Day Zero, 7:42 p.m., via text (J in gray on left, me in blue on right)

[option/permission photos sent by me to J] 

Phase Two: The "Maybe"
Day Zero, 7:48 p.m., via text (J in gray on left, me in blue on right)

That sounded like a "yes" to me, so I bought the birdcage with a 50/50 shot of keeping it.  : )

Phase Three: The Acceptance
Day One, 2:16 p.m., via text (J in gray on left, me in blue on right), while the bird cage was still in the bag with its receipt

Day Two, 5:32 p.m.

Phase Four: The Accession
Day Three, 7:36 p.m., while browsing in a boutique store killing time for our Papa John's pizza to be ready

J: Hey, babe.  Do you think we should add more birdcages to the house?
me: What?
J (pointing to several large birdcages hanging from the ceiling): Yeah, like maybe one in every room?
me: Ummmm...

random thursday stuff

I just (at lunch today) finished the third of three books that I read back-to-back-to-back (The Thirteenth Tale, Sharp Objects, The Lovely Bones).  All were intelligent, a little suspenseful, tragic, and surprising.  It felt really good to have that reading bug again.

We just (yesterday) had wood floors installed throughout most of the house.  They look amazing.  I don't really want to put furniture back in the pink room because I don't want to cover up the floors.

Did I mention that J tore up the tile and thinset by himself??

I love the wood floors.  I also love that we checked out 48,212 stores and websites to make sure we were getting exactly what we wanted.  I am not being sarcastic, but I am exaggerating.

In the middle of all of the construction dust, I got this pic from J:

A construction dust love proclamation??  Who else gets that??  Be still my pounding heart!

We went to dinner with (almost) all of J's family last night.  Pappy was on a roll with one-liners.

"She [our server] talks too fast.  She needs to slow down!  I'm from Buckholts!"

Pappy: Alex, no beer for you tonight.
Alex [grinning]: Okay.
me: What about Ethen?
Pappy: No whiskey!

Pappy [talking about his wife, Diddy]: After 62 years, I still ain't got her trained!
Diddy: What'd you say?
Pappy: I said we've been married for 62 years!
me: What about the rest of what you said?!
Pappy: Don't worry about that!

Diddy: I want to go to the pound and look at getting a new kitty.
Pappy: We might get a puppy, too. 
Mia: Daddy, I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Pappy: We'll raise them together so they get along.
Mia: You should really think about it if you want to get a puppy.
Pappy: Okay.  We probably won't get one.

The weather is getting just warm enough and staying just cool enough for the hammock.  The boys fixed it yesterday.

Back in...January?  We had a few sunny days in the 70s.  J and I ran errands allllllllll day Saturday, got home late afternoon, and had the same hammock thought.  He attached the hammock to the tree straps while I grabbed the hammock pillow and Baylor quilt.  We were all snuggled up, my head on his shoulder.  I had just entered that awesome sleepy state where I was starting to dream but still hearing the leaves rustle.  Then I heard, "Rrrrrrrreeeeeee," got halfway through my drowsy, "What wa..." when DOOOOFF!  We crashed to the ground.  There were about four seconds of looking at each other through stunned silence, then four minutes of laughter.  And that's why I say "fixed."

I'll leave you with a magical double rainbow on my way out of work yesterday.  The photo is pretty good considering I was carrying my purse AND an umbrella.

behind the photo: ten things

Obviously this is not a posed photo.  It's not even staged.  I literally got up, took it, and sat right back down.  The boys didn't even know I snuck it with my phone.  I kind of love this photo because it truly is an honest look at an honest moment, and it tells so much story.

1. the flowers that J gave me for my birthday.  Each year, he buys my flowers, and each year, the arrangement has at least quadrupled in size. 

2. peanut butter Reese's pieces cookies.  There are 12 in a package, and this one was the only one left an hour later.  It was gone before bedtime.  We were literally passing the plate around as we were playing...

3. Monopoly Empire, received from my Uncle Jeff and cousin Kristen for Christmas.  Such a great family game.  It goes really fast, it can change really fast, and there's room to make the rules up as you go.  BTW, the standing rule in our house is: if you roll the dice off the table, you lose a turn.  Alex asked to play it as we were finishing up dinner, E replied, "I can do that," and blam, J won.

4. E's Muscle Milk on the ground, his pick from a run to the convenient store down the street.  To give you perspective, everyone else picked ice cream.

5. the ottoman I was leaning against as I was texting with Rita, seconds before and after this photo was taken.

6. the carpet we're professionally getting rid of.   J considered...you know what, this is a separate post.  : )

7. the couches we're professionally getting rid of.

8. tossing the football [dive catch], not unusual at all except it's usually Al & E running/tagging/juking down the hall and into the living room.

9. E playing with his hair, phone in his lap playing music through the sound bar via Bluetooth

10. E's Sting baseball jersey that he wears to school.  He likes it because it's pink.

You can read what happened an hour before the photo here.

lip-quivering pride

There have been a few times in the short time that I've known him that Ethen has done something so sincere that it makes my lip quiver with pride.

He frequently does things that make me smile with pride - looking for his dad when he hits a home run, giving my mom a hug goodbye, challenging me to Trivia Crack.  And last night, as Alex was rolling with laughter, Ethen pointedly looked at J and me to make sure we were seeing how happy his brother was.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

The first was several months ago.  He took the prayer before dinner, and I was so touched by his sincerity (and gratefulness for algebra) that "Ethen, I love you," spilled out for the first time.

The second was was an email received last Friday after Ethen's first track meet.  

Subject: Your Son...

I wanted you to know, I was completely impressed with your son last night.  My poor daughter was “elected” to run the 1600m at last night’s track meet, she is not a distance runner so she finished last and was actually lapped.  On her final lap she was so far behind everyone I thought she would not finish, but then this group of 3 boys ran along side her all the way.  My original thought was “how classy” these boys are helping and encouraging her.  Then when we got in the car I asked who they were, so please give him a big hug and thanks from me.

Neither one of us saw it happen.  I had left the meet to take Alex to basketball practice.  J had left the meet minutes before since Ethen was done with his events.

We talked about it at dinner that night.  He saw her struggling, so he rounded up some guys and said, "Let's go."  He doesn't have a crush on this girl; he just wanted to help his teammate.  I read the email out loud at the table.  (I had to get special permission to have my phone out.)  I told him with a quivering lip that he changed this girl's night.  He turned it around.  Instead of being teased and ridiculed, she was encouraged and cheered.  It mattered to her family so much that they talked about it as soon as they got in the car AND her dad sent the email.  Finally [In my most emphatic voice], she will remember that race for the rest of her life.  As something positive.

YEAH.

(Race: Second leg of the 4x100, second attempt after all the boys were lined up in the right lanes. : ) )

It kind of reminded me of this story, except that there were hundreds of people watching.

I nodded towards Alex, "Are you proud of your brother right now?"  With big sincere eyes he nodded and replied, "Yes."

We celebrated with Reese's Pieces peanut butter cookies and a game of Monopoly Empire, after which everyone remained congregated in the living room, like no one wanted to break the spell.

(I bet my mom's eyes are watering right now.  Any takers?)

fine.

Jason,

Here is your blog post.

Sincerely,

aleebird

more snippets

More random bits of conversation that are funnier without context.

"The internet is in Colorado."  (This one reminds me of Jessie.)

"I just bought a book!!!!!!  To read!!!!!!"

Alex: I'm a great pourer!

AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I want the Kung Pao beef...I'm feeling a little nutty."

"Did I really just try to eat my applesauce with a pen??"

J about a coworker: You didn't know that she's more of a man than I am!

E: I gotta loosen up my life jacket before I pass out.

Alex: Hey Dad, do we have Wifi in the truck?

"I have three bad decisions on my body."

" I DO look good in Daisy Dukes!"

"Popcorn is so unpredictable."

Alex: ...and I have been gassy this week.  I recommend Pepto.

"It's all fun and games until someone busts out a highlighter."

"Growing to love and loving to grow."

"Do you want a head massage?  It feels good.  It also works your shoulders."
 

"My belly would beat me to death."

"I feel like a warrior!"

"I'm sorry, it's 12:01 right now and we close at noon..."

"There's half a tank of fun!"

 

Further snippet reading: office snippets, snippets lately, and recent snippets.