pink nostalgia

the plain jane birthday cake

So we have this tradition of me making themed birthday cakes for the Wells boys.  It started here.  Then it continued with Ethen, J, back to Alex, Ethen, and now we're back to:

me: Hey babe, what kind of birthday cake do you want this year?
J: Vanilla.  Cream cheese icing.
me: That's it?
J: Yep.  That's my favorite.
me: Okay.  What shape?
J: What shape?
me: Yeah.  Baseball stadium, army fort, motorcycle...
J: Nah.  None of that.  Just plain Jane vanilla and cream cheese icing.
me: Plain Jane.
J: Plain Jane.

Well, that's all well and good, but it's not going to be a 9x13, I can tell you that.

I had some serendipity: the night before his birthday (a Saturday), J had to work from 11 p.m. - 2 a.m.  A perfect time to make a few cakes!

He left at 10:30 and gave Alex an 11:00 bedtime.  As SOON as he left, and I mean the garage door hadn't finished closing yet, Alex jumped up off the couch and said, "Is he gone?  Let's get started!"

Let's get started!

We hustled to get the first cake in the oven, then we made J's favorite cheesecake and finally this homemade cream cheese icing + 1/2 cup extra powdered sugar.*

Then it was his bedtime.  Then we put the second cake in the oven.  Then Al went to bed.  Then I made another batch of icing and assembled the plain Jane cake.

Photobomb attempts.

I've been keeping the cake in the fridge.  This morning, four days later, J walked all the way across the house to tell me, "Oh, and by the way - that cake is THE BEST cake I've ever had.  Ever.  That icing is AMAZING."

: )

*Alex and I first made the cream cheese icing according to the recipe but agreed that it needed more sugar.  Alex said, "I would say, like, about this much," and scoops up about a teaspoon.  I said, "Uhhhh, let's start with a 1/2 cup.  Use this one."

Editor's Note: J's birthday is in August, so...this is one I wrote a while ago and am just now posting.  : )

the definition of love

About a month ago, Jason, Ethen, and I were lingering at the dinner table.  It was one of those scenes where everyone is done eating, but no one wants to leave the table.

We started talking about love from family.  How do you know someone loves you?  What do they do?  How does it feel to love?  What IS love?

We each answered, gave lots of examples, and talked about the five love languages.

And then I recalled a perfect definition of love.

It took me a bit of courage to bring my Bible to the kitchen table discussion.

I said, "Here is how the Bible defines love:

'Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.' "

Word.

Ha, get it?

We had a moment, and that moment stuck with me for a few days until I figured out how to preserve it.  It took me lots of trial runs plus one viewing of Three Ninjas with Alex to get it right.  It's the first thing you see when you walk in the door.

It says that when you walk in that door, this house is about love.  This is how we are to treat each other.  Our boys will know what love is and what it should be.

recent reads

So here are the noteworthy books that I've picked up and put down (and scrolled through) since my last reading post.  I hit a patch in the middle of the year when I didn't really feel like reading (Netflix with Wells boys is more important), so it was kind of a light list to pick from.  : )

Self-Help:

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love and Steve Stosny.  This book recommendation was hands-down the best thing I got from therapy.  I smacked my forehead SO many times ("That's why!").  The first half of the book explains physiological differences between men and women.  The second half gets to the how to.  It shed so much light on my previous marriage and is teaching me to take lots of detours in my relationship with J.  If you're in a committed relationship, you need to read this book.

The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife by Sally Bjornsen.  Hey!  That's exactly MY situation!  There were multiple times that I thought the author read my diary.  She's funny but straight-forward - no big spoonfuls of sugar here.  This is stuff that no one talks about.  If you're the single girl in the title or the man or the ex-wife or care about any of the above, you should read this book. 

For both of these, I borrowed them from the library, loved them, then bought my own copy so I could highlight it.

 

One of Jason's bosses is in the habit of asking me what I'm reading on my lunch breaks.  As I was reading The Single Girl's Guide, he strolled over and asked.  Not wanting to say, "The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife," I said, "Ummm, how to be a good stepmom."  Clearly being caught off guard and not wanting to continue that thread, he said, "Okay!", turned on his heel and started to walk away!  He paused, turned back around, and said, "Have you read Love Does?"

Love Does by Bob Goff.  As in, love doesn't just talk the talk, it gets up and puts its money where its mouth is.  Love does.  The author is a Christian who shares personal anecdotes about accepting before criticizing and the selfless nature of love.

How To Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.  This is multiple exercises in being purposeful in the ways that we treat the boys.  It often means taking a breath and a less critical approach.  It's spot-on in its analysis of how teens react to different types of communication.  The prequel is on my nightstand.

  

Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker.  I quickly realized that if I was going to highlight the good parts to read to J, I would be highlighting whole pages.  It's the reason I didn't interfere when the boys were playing "Army" last weekend and got Al's backpack stuck in a tree and the reason why they kept playing together all afternoon.

Strong Mothers, Strong Sons by Meg Meeker.  It's on my nightstand waiting for me to finish Faithful Place.  I bought a hard copy after I read the first chapter of Boys Should Be Boys.  No messing around with borrowing it from the library. 

The Rita Recommendations:

I love that I have a handful of friends that once we run out of life to catch up on, we catch up on books.  : )

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern.  Charming and whimsical.  I need it to be made into a movie (definitely IMAX) so I can wrap my mind around it, but I suspect that much of the magic would be lost.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows.  Okay.  This book is that feeling you have when you're laying in a hammock on the beach or curled up in front of the fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate and extra mini marshmallows.  One of my new favorites.  I even geeked out an made a character map, AP English style.   

 

I'm sure J and Karen are embarrassed for me right now.

The Ones That Everyone Else Liked:

I read a few blog posts highly recommending this bunch.  Hmm.  How to start.  I liked the story but not the narration in I'll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson (loved that it was told from two perspectives three years apart and then to watch the overlapping and unfolding) and Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews.  I mean, it's weird to like the plot but not the characters. 

 

I was really irritated with We Were Liars by E. Lockhart.  I never liked any of the characters.  The whole thing seemed disjointed.  The only reason I held on was because I had read that the ending would blow you away.  Well, the disjointedness WAS to support the ending, but once it was revealed, I started complaining outloud.  "Seriously??  [Spoiler]  That's what you're going with??  Seriously!"  So for me, the ending did not justify the poor writing.

Everyone and their best friend loved Yes Please by Amy Poehler.  I DID love Bossypants by Amy's best friend Tina Fey, but I abandoned Yes Please after I was halfway through and forcing it.

The Ones I've Recommended:

The Dublin Murder Squad series by Tana French.  This series is unique in that each novel follows a different main character for an entirely new murder mystery.  The Likeness is my favorite thus far.

 

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion.  So adorable.  The narrator is a geneticist with undiagnosed Asperger's (picture a hot Sheldon Cooper) which my OCD reads really well.  I smiled the whole time I read this and laughed several times.  The sequel is good, too.

Worth noting: The Nicholas Sparks ban is still running strong.  I have not caved once in two years since I put the ban in place.

Next big book endeavors: Anne Rice, Miss Marple, and mental illness memoirs.

how to: chicken parm hoagies

This is one of our current why-did-you-let-me-eat-all-of-that meals.  : )

It's really easy and fast, and it's a perfect accompaniment to watching Friday Night Lights.

The bread: Slice a loaf of Italian bread in half, put it on a cookie sheet with the cut side open, and pop it in the oven at 350 for a few minutes until it's lightly toasted.  Now, this step is critical and I'm not even joking because you know I don't joke about food.  Smash a garlic clove with the side of a large knife.  As soon as you take the bread out of the oven, rub the toasted sides with the garlic.  Pieces of the garlic will flake off.  That's okay, just remove any big pieces so you don't bite into any chunks.  Your fingers will smell like garlic after this.  If you're not cool with that, you can rub them on a stainless steel mixing bowl.  Your fingers will smell like stainless steel after this.

The sauce: Dump a jar of your favorite marinara in a small pot on the stove; heat on low.  You'll need bowls (like regular-sized cereal bowls, not wimpy salsa bowls) for dipping.  If all you have are wimpy salsa bowls, then serve the hoagies with a spoon.

The chicken: Trim about 3/4 of a pound of chicken tenders.  At your option, pound them so that they're 1/2" thick.  Bread with seasoned breadcrumbs, and pan-fry in a skillet with olive oil on medium heat.*

The cheese: Cut the cheese.  That's for George.

The hoagie: The beauty of the assembly is that it really doesn't matter - it's all going to fall apart anyway.  : )  But I like it in this order from bottom to top: bread, sauce, chicken, sauce, cheese.  Finagle the sandwich shut, then put it back in the oven until the cheese melts.

And that's your sandwich!

Just kidding.  I cut it into 4-5 pieces, and we maybe have one piece left over between J and me.**

On this day, I ate one and a half pieces, told J, "I can't do it," he finished his two pieces and my half piece, told me, "Why did you let me do that?"

If you do have leftovers, wrap them in foil and stick them in the fridge.  To heat them back up, put them in a 350 degree oven (still in the foil) until it's heated through, about 8 minutes.  I know it's not as quick and easy as the microwave, but just trust me.  You're saving yourself from chewy bread and cold-in-the-middle chicken.

Enjoy!

 

*Edited to add: The last time I made these, I double-stacked the chicken and cheese.  There was seriously moaning.

**One loaf + half a bag of curly fries will perfectly feed J + me + Ethen.