Aack! So remember a while ago when I said that I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 1 million, and once I have that number of blog views in one day, I'll post my most embarrassing story?
Well, the time has come, my friends.
First things first: a HUGE
to everyone who reads this blog and has passed it on. Seriously, y'all really make me smile, even though I can't tell who you all are. : ) I'll throw in a bonus embarrassing moment - one of my favorite things is hitting the "refresh" button on my blog count and seeing the views skip up. The sheen has not worn off. So thank you.
And now...
It was a Friday night about 10 pm in the spring of my freshman year at Baylor (i.e. old enough for this to not happen to). Where was I? Hot date? Parties? No, not even at the library. My roommate and I were at the university gym, working out with the 5 other losers on campus. I know it's hard to believe with these eyes + charm, but it's true.
Since all of the sorority girls were otherwise occupied, all of the treadmills were finally available. Beth and I hopped on two next to each other, and off we went ("off" in a circular not-getting-anywhere kind of way). This was the age just before iPods, but the treadmill faced a row of TVs, sans headphones.
A commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken came on advertising a bucket of chicken for something like $12.99 or a 3-piece meal for $2.99. It struck me as odd because usually as the quantity goes up, the price goes down, but this deal appeared to be going the opposite way. Naturally, I started calculating in my head the per-piece price to determine the better deal (and maybe, just maybe, write a letter to their accounting department informing them that their quantity/cost ratio was incorrect).
*At this point in the story, my friend Karen interrupted and, in a very serious tone, said, "Stop right there, Ang. That's embarrassing enough." *Footnote: I have a friend who also does math in this head when he runs. Of course, he's an accountant, too, so I don't think that helps my case at all. : /
All of the sudden, I was looking at my treadmill's dashboard. As I was thinking, "That's strange. I'm trying to look at the TV," my gaze shifted to the top of the conveyor belt. I automatically flung my arm out and grasped for the rail, but my hand instead hit the plastic cover at the top of the belt. Then my chest hit something hard, I gasped, and I felt carpet against my knees.
And only then did I realize what had happened.
I just fell off of the treadmill.
I just. Fell off. The treadmill!
Beth quietly but urgently asked if I was okay. (She later told me that she didn't want to make it worse by rushing to my side and drawing more attention to me.) Of course, I was mortified, but nothing was bleeding or cracked. I semi-casually looked around to count the number of laughing observers, but everything seemed fine. I decided to play it off by returning to my catapult and slowing down to a walk. I waited 5 minutes before I asked Beth if she was please ready to go.
By the time we got back to the dorm, we were laughing pretty hard. She said I looked exactly like a cartoon - my legs shot out from under me and I was launched straight back off that thing before she could blink.
I don't have photographic proof of The Fall, but my roommate Beth will back me up. Let's just go for broke with a photo from freshman year.
Sorry, Beth, to drag you into this. : )
Surely that's enough. I mean, you can't top a giant sombrero.